The challenge for all working mothers it seems is finding balance. Balance between your job/career, your family and still maintaining or expanding the person who you are and want to become. At best it seems that the overall definition of the various versions of you and who you believe yourself to be is at odds with each other. At least that often seems to be the case for me. Which leads me to question why we try to find this moment of peace of Zen? What is it that continually causes us to look for those moments when balance exist and we can breath and focus on the breath alone?
I have yet to determine if there is an answer or that every mom attempts such lofty goals. I know that in those rare moments when the house is quite I listen and hear the birds outside and nothing else, either because there is no one up or they are gone or they are doing something that does not require me to run interference and in those moments, short lived lived moments. I feel a happiness and calmness I can not express. In those moments I am not expected to fix the problems of the world, or kiss an ouchy or hug a doll or listen to my little one complain because something isn't fair. I can just be in the moment.
Perhaps that is the appeal of finding balance, and so I try to balance the demands of work, and family and find time for myself. More often than not, I am finding those times working out with the rising sun or at the gym and enjoying the peaceful existence of the world around me with no one but myself making demands. Before reality and the craziness of life sets in, never would I have imagined that everyday, I would look forward to taking out my yoga mat and to working out on an exercise ball in my home to feel the pain in my muscles because I am making myself strong, and healthy. These moments when its all about me just me are rare and I cherish them. Does it make me selfish, well some people might think so I suppose. But I would say no it makes me a better, mom, wife and employee because I have taken the time to focus on the person who does all of these things and tries to find balance in all of these roles. I am not sure that finding balance in every moment of everyday is possible but we all have to have a dream and for the moment at least this one seems to be mine.
I have yet to determine if there is an answer or that every mom attempts such lofty goals. I know that in those rare moments when the house is quite I listen and hear the birds outside and nothing else, either because there is no one up or they are gone or they are doing something that does not require me to run interference and in those moments, short lived lived moments. I feel a happiness and calmness I can not express. In those moments I am not expected to fix the problems of the world, or kiss an ouchy or hug a doll or listen to my little one complain because something isn't fair. I can just be in the moment.
Perhaps that is the appeal of finding balance, and so I try to balance the demands of work, and family and find time for myself. More often than not, I am finding those times working out with the rising sun or at the gym and enjoying the peaceful existence of the world around me with no one but myself making demands. Before reality and the craziness of life sets in, never would I have imagined that everyday, I would look forward to taking out my yoga mat and to working out on an exercise ball in my home to feel the pain in my muscles because I am making myself strong, and healthy. These moments when its all about me just me are rare and I cherish them. Does it make me selfish, well some people might think so I suppose. But I would say no it makes me a better, mom, wife and employee because I have taken the time to focus on the person who does all of these things and tries to find balance in all of these roles. I am not sure that finding balance in every moment of everyday is possible but we all have to have a dream and for the moment at least this one seems to be mine.
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